sons who treat their mothers poorly

Its important to note that mothers are not always aware of their own abusive tendencies, so be sure to speak up if shes being cruel or neglectful. Why are some sons so mean to their mothers? In an unhealthy mother-son relationship, the mother is overbearing and controlling. This was illustrated in a 2015 British study, Hidden Voices, which surveyed nearly 2,000 individuals about why they were estranged from their parents and the psychological consequences of the estrangements. The dysfunction of the mother-son relationship will always affect his other relationships, in either big or small ways, whether the son likes or not. Please love your mother too. Shannon is a mother of two boys and one girl. This is a complex situation of factors ranging from neglectful parenting to early childhood attachment problems to mental illness. Mothers and sons can have a very special relationship, but what happens when that loving bond turns to loathing? And believe me the biggest regret is having mistreated your own mother. Things change. If a mother constantly questions her sons abilities, it can cause a lot of resentment in the relationship. If hes into something like woodworking or knitting, be supportive by helping him find resources for learning more about it, or even just encouraging him to pursue his passion. This problem is especially prevalent among African American and Hispanic families. Youve probably heard the saying Mother knows best, but that doesnt mean your son always wants to hear what you have to say. The son may feel like he cant live up to his mothers expectations or that he must take care of her emotionally. She might demand that you live at home until youre 30 or tell you who to date and how to dress. It might not be easy, but its important to remember that he needs your support and parental guidance more than he does being judged and having things held against him. Its important to understand the reasons behind this behavior so that we can address it effectively. This can lead to frustration and resentment, which can manifest itself in poor treatment of mothers. But it happens, and happens for a number of reasons. 1. The narcissistic mother will often start out by idealizing her son and putting him on a pedestalalmost like a display object. Control is the issue at the heart of this conflict. She involves herself in her sons personal relationship business. Peterson attributes the mothers fear of losing her son as a reason for her controlling behavior to manifest itself-to avoid or try to avoid her son leaving her. This can lead to the son feeling overwhelmed and helpless. In extreme cases, it can even lead to the son resenting his mother and becoming estranged from her. The relationship between a mother and her son is complicated. Well look at these below.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_7',151,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); Are you having trouble with your children? Then, I got a call back that no . Its crucial to be patient with your son and not hold grudges, no matter how difficult hes being and how hes treating you. When he feels comfortable talking with you about the things that matter to him, hell be more likely to open up about other things, toolike when something might be bothering him or if something is going on at school. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_12',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); Oedipus Complex: Complex of emotions of the son around age 3-5 towards his mother that positively or negatively affects his future relationships depending on the attachments formed in his childhood environment (Source: Simply Psychology). This can be a result of the mother feeling insecure in her own relationship with her son, or feeling like shes not getting enough attention from him. He doesnt talk about his mother with others in his relationships. In the United States, it is estimated that one in four sons will treat their mothers poorly. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-4','ezslot_1',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-4-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-4','ezslot_2',106,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-4-0_1');.medrectangle-4-multi-106{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. This way, they can mend their relationship. For the most part, the first thing Ive learned about sons who hate their mothers is that there is not a one-size-fits-all reason behind it. Sons can also feel suffocated by mothers who are overly involved in their lives. An overly controlling mother is also someone who wants to have the final say in how her son lives his life. This goes full circle to show your son how much you care, that youre human, and that youre willing to go to great lengths to build a healthy mother-son relationship. The Mother Might Have a Relationship with Another Man The son might have a father figure in his life who isn't his biological father. Parents need to encourage their children to individuate and find their own identities to develop healthy self-esteem and respect for others. Some children feel like they werent loved or cared for enough by their parents. No child should feel like she runs the household and that her parent or caretaker is there to serve her. This can do further harm to the mother-son relationship. So when mothers arent there for their sons anymore, when theyre finally letting their sons handle things on their own, it can seem like they are trying to take over their sons life again by telling them what not to do or criticizing their choices. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. A mother-son bond is important. This is a severe issue that should be dealt with immediately. Mothers who raised their children alone and are now outsiders. It may also damage his relationships with other women. This could be because the mother cheated on her husband or because she remarried and her new partner adopted or had another child. This can put a lot of pressure on him and ultimately lead to resentment. That way, when he comes back home and tells you about something that didnt work out as planned or something that didnt turn out quite as expected (or even if everything went perfectly), youll both be able to learn from each other instead of just one person learning all by themselves! Lastly, if you want your son to grow up to be a responsible adult, it is important that you respect him as an adult. I cant imagine my sons hating me, but Im sure neither can most moms. What constitutes a negative relationship with one's mother is a fairly broad set of possibilities, and some negative relationships are . Thats what youre supposed to do, as a parent. Whatever the reason, its not healthy for either the mother or the son. Other times it may be due to an adult child becoming abusive and the parent needs to cut off ties for safety reasons. Spouse Substitute. In this case, the mother has a soft heart, so she always forgives her son. Your email address will not be published. You dont have to agree with everything he does and say yes when he asks for something, but you must trust him enough to give him the space he needs to find his way and make mistakes along the way. Sons who hate their mothers are rare, but exist. Mothers who are controlling usually have high expectations for their children. The mother-son relationship is complex and often influenced by media depictions of what it means to be a man. . When Your Grown Child Makes Bad Decisions | Guide for Parents. The nature want us to love our parents, it is a natural part of life. Little Ninja parenting is compensated for referring traffic and business to these companies. Some young men will be influenced by their peers or even older family members and mistreat their mothers. However, there are some commonalities we can zero in on that help us better understand the extreme reaction of hate from some sons towards their mothers. A son whose mother is constantly prying may end up being constantly angry with his interfering parent. Theyre also hurting their mothers, who are often the closest people to them in the world. Make sure you listen to what he has to say and take the time to really understand where hes coming from. Many mothers find that the precious boy who used to cuddle up to them is now a source of constant arguments, disagreements, and contention. It's unclear where the saying originated, but it permeates the relationship advice culture for women. Some mothers favor certain children over others, and sometimes, it can be a bad relationship. If they are attracted to the opposite sex, that is, daughters like fathers, while sons like their mothers, that's positive Phallic psychosexual development, and this could help us explain why sons are closer to their mothers. Dating a woman is a partnership. This may mean talking to a therapist or counselor who can help them deal with their feelings and figure out how to best cope. The son may have felt abandoned by his mother or that the mother was uninterested in him. Many sons feel that their mothers try to control every aspect of their lives. Its also important to talk to him about his feelings and how it makes him feel when you ask certain things of him. First, try to avoid criticism. Remember, he is still learning how to be an adult. Hopefully, these tips have helped you understand whats going on in your sons life, and how best to support him both as an adult and in your parent-child relationships. Whatever the reason, its important to remember that no one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. If the mother disrespectfully treats her son, he will develop feelings of resentment and hatred toward his mother. 20 Fun & Memorable Christmas Activities For Kids, How To Deal With Entitled Stepchildren: 9 Ways To Harmonize With Your New Family, How To Motivate A Teenager Who Doesnt Care: 14 Ways To Re-invigorate Your Child. Some sons have personality issues that cause them to mistreat their mothers. And a son from a loving mother may love her back, or hate her. How to Travel Confidently During Your Period? Hell learn more from making mistakes than he will from being coddled by his mother! You might think that you know everything there is to know about your son, but its always nice to hear what he has to say. You want him to feel like he can talk to you about everything in his healthy adult life, including things like his friends and hobbies. A son who has a destructive relationship with his mother will likely have an unhealthy relationship with others. A mother may wonder how her son could hate her after she gave birth to him. In todays society, young men are bombarded with images of what it means to be a man. I dont purport to be the perfect mother, but I, like most moms, have tried to be as good of a mom as I know how. There should be a special bond between a mother and a son, in some cultures, it is revered and celebrated. There is a difference between the concerned mother giving advice out of love and the judgmental, pushy, and intrusive mother who just wants to tell her son what to do. They are often very close, but they can also be at odds with each other. She may also cause him to feel like shes trying to control his life. When a son feels this way about their mother, they may be less likely to respect and listen to her later in life. That might sound strange, but it makes sense, considering how much time mothers spend helping their sons grow up. Mothers must try not to get angry as they write the letter. Constantly making fun of her and belittling her in front of others. This can cause the son to become angry and resentful towards his mother. Raise the issue in a non-confrontational manner as soon possible. It also means making rules to guide your child and disciplining your child when needed. Controlling mothers also believe their sons are more of a possession than a child. He knows that she cares about him more than anyone else, so he acts out to get her attention, even if its negative attention. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-netboard-1','ezslot_20',114,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-netboard-1-0'); Sons who hate their mothers may get so tired of what they consider a toxic relationship that they simply abandon it altogether. Parents tell stories of ill-spoken words, of misunderstanding, of unhelpful interference from others. Controlling mothers pay little attention to their daughter's feelings and needs. Men will compromise in different ways with a mom as opposed to another woman. Your email address will not be published. This is a huge reason why sons disrespect their mothers. A manipulative, overprotective, abusive, or controlling mother makes for a toxic relationship between a mother and son. In addition, she also taught education courses online as an adjunct professor, mentored numerous education interns, hosted professional development for educators, and tutored, as well as homeschooled. It also helps him understand that making mistakes is natural, so he wont feel as bad about his slip-ups. What does it mean when We are Mathew Booe and Jackie Booe. 2. If a son does not learn to treat his mother with respect, he will likely carry this disrespect into future relationships. It's normal for adult sons to have conflicts with their mothers. He becomes upset with any family involvement or references. 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